Labor of Love.

Last night while Adam was studying I found myself with a little free time. Being as he works so hard and deserves nice little treats from time to time....I decided a foot massage would be really nice. So I set off to get my supplies. I gathered them up, sat in front of him and  began massaging his achy, tired feet.

Due to his moaning and groaning the entire 30 minutes I was doing this, I'd say I did a good thing. Afterwards he mentioned that he had never had anyone do something like that for him and how amazing it felt. Note to self/others: Do sweet stuff like this for your Man. Men notice love in actions as they are so physically orientated. Women tend to notice love in verbal forms but this is how love can be lost in translation. Learn to show your partner love in a way they can recognize it!!

I posted a small tutorial below so we can all spread the love!

 

 

 

Why you little ship jumper you!

I read a quote the other day that completely inspired me. "The grass isn't always greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it."

How many people are actually willing to work on things instead of just replacing them?  How many people ditch any and everything they find currently inconvenient? In a modern day society where people get ticked if their 4G isn't fast enough or their car doesn't go 0-60 in 3 seconds, we learn quickly that waiting is inconvenient. There really is no doubt that the whole 'I want it yesterday' philosophy has been completely assimilated into most peoples everyday lives. Applying this thought to relationships also makes one understand why people can simply shrug when they hear the divorce rate is over 50%.

If you don't like your job, get a new one.  Tired of your car, get a new one.  It's resonated everywhere in this cheap, Made in China world we live in.  However, I have always believed that what goes on around us can be shut out with the close of a door.  What happens in the 'outside world' stays there when we come home at night to our families and close that divider. I believe that people are worth investing in.  I believe that you don't just toss things out when they spoil, let's save that philosophy for food- not husbands and wives. I believe in cherishing your partner. I believe in being grateful and humble that your partner has chose to spend their life with you. I believe in relationships, when you get married and start your own family unit that it is just that.  Your own family unit. You don't divorce family.  I believe in re-building, trust, passion, struggle and longevity. I believe as long as the people in the relationship are good/healthy for each other, they can conquer anything.

I am not trying to sound like a girl who caught a high from a Disney fairytale here.  I understand there are cases where you can give and give, do everything right and still find yourself at a dead end if there is one person in the relationship that doesn't want to admit to problems or put in effort.  But when you consider the connection and intense quality of the intimacy two people in love can share when they've invested years in each other and have numerous memories and timeline highlights, why wouldn't you try to salvage that? As someone who currently just dreams of long-term true love I can just imagine what sweet bliss it is, I imagine it's not even comparable to new love. Sure, new love is amazing.  It's whimsical, thrilling, and well, new and that's great! But just as things that are shiny have their appeal, so are things with history and a story. The trick lies in what you and your partner value. My point is this- If you have two healthy people committed to the relationship, and committed to each other- you can make forever a reality despite all the roadblocks we humans face today. Not a mind-numbing new idea, but something worth reminding ourselves of.

And always, always, remember the BEST relationship advice ever: CHOOSE THE RIGHT PERSON.
 

TORN

This is challenging.  Trying to find the emotions, words, and actions to handle certain situations lately has been challenging.  What has been plaguing my life with difficulty lately is my relationship with my best friend.  She is the greatest, sweetest friend any girl could ever scale the earth to find and I am so beyond lucky to have her to fill such an important role in my life.  However, lately, I’ve been feeling distant feelings from her.  It could have absolutely nothing to do with me, or it could have everything to do with me.  She is currently going through a serious break-up, she spent 5 years of her life with someone who ultimately just couldn’t come through in the end.  After many late night talks and much turmoil, they decided to move out of their rented home and call it quits.  This all took place about 3 or 4 months ago.  Those last 3-4 months have no doubt been very hard on her, and coincidentally it’s all happening to her during the same time when Adam and I have been blossoming, growing, and falling completely head over heels for eachother.  Watching Adam and I’s relationship grow has been such a beautiful journey, but that’s a different post entirely. 

Bottom line, I know deep down she is happy for me, but I know that she is unhappy and it doesn’t seem she wishes to be surrounded by me and my in-love-glowing state.  When we go to lunch and she says how are you? It's hard for me to want to tell her, well, Adam and I told eachother we love eachother for the first time Sunday and it made me so happy I could cry, etc etc. so instead I talk about work, or my Mom and that makes me feel more distant from her.  I am in a ridicously happy place in my life and I want to share this with her! However, sharing those things would make me feel completly insensitive to her, so I don't. I try my best to not talk about the sweet things he does for me around her.  I try to tone down our amounts of physical affection around her, but I sometimes can’t help it. I know she is hurting, but lots of times when I ask her if she wants to talk about it she just says she is ok. And here we come back to the beginning, it’s all so challenging!  I know she doesn’t want to watch my love with Adam grow while her relationship is falling apart but that is what life has dealt both of us.  My life has not been easy and it’s not like Adam just walked into my life.  I put forth a lot of effort and made very difficult, but conscious decisions to put my life in a place where I could fall in love with someone like him.  I don’t want to feel bad for being happy, but I want to be sympathetic to her too!? She is definitely a priority in my life, she has been a constant for me over the last 4 years and I love her indefinitely for that.  It’s just so hard for me, I love Adam so much, and if things keep progressing the way that they have been, he may be the last guy I go through the progression of love with. If that does turn out to be the case (and even if it isn’t) I want to treasure all my moments with Adam, I don’t want to feel like I have to apologize for my happiness.  How do I honor my good life choices and relish in my relationship with Adam without being insensitive to her? 

Any thoughts on how these two monumental life moments can be integrated? Maybe someone has had something similar with pregnancy? What would you do if you got pregnant and your best friend had been trying for years? How do you deal with this??!?!?!!

Tax Season Anyone?

In my little slice of life, things have been a little crazy lately.  Usually Adam and I are pretty good at being a 'cumulative couple'.  By that I mean we meet in the middle and do our best to both contribute to the relationship.  But lately it's been just a little nuts since Adam is nearing the end of tax season and as a Senior Accountant he is surely feeling the pressure.  It's my job to pick up where he needs and fill in the blanks he can't right now.  Something I have no problem doing because A) I love him. B) I know he would do it for me. Right now my main concern is not keeping things spicy between us or really anything even related to that.  At the moment, we are sticking to basics like keeping dinner on the table, getting enough sleep, and not having an emotional meltdown during this really stressful work time. So, in an effort to keep my man happy I made him a coupon today for a free massage. Certainly there are other girlfriends/wives of accountants that need a sweet pick me up for their man, if so, consider your wish granted!



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